Think You’re Funny? Your Kid Disagrees
As parents, one of our most important jobs is to build our children’s self-esteem. We cultivate our little cherubs’ delicate egos, shouting their successes from the rooftops and putting more spin on their faux pas and failures than Bill O’Reilly riding those crazy tea cups at Disney.
But as careful as we are not to bruise our tots’ tender feelings, our children aren’t always as mindful when it comes to OUR feelings. For every Mommy! you look like a princess! you get five Mommy! Your breath smells like poop!
Still, you might think that if you had some sort of tangible accomplishment, being touted as a “hilarious parent” on the cover of a book—The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets for instance— then the children might be thrilled to laud our achievements, bringing the book for Show & Tell, bragging “My mom/dad’s in a book!” (Or for those who’ve entered the nonverbal teen years, the barely imperceptible nod together with a mumbled ‘ssup?, which is about as much of acknowledgment as a teen parent will get in a twenty-four hour period.)
Alas, our contributors found that being published in an ACTUAL BOOK is not the guarantee of ‘atta boys and ‘atta girls that they thought.
From the Out Of The Mouths Of Babes file, we pulled a baker’s dozen of the “stellar reviews” our contributors received once their kids got hold of The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets.
Nate didn’t even get past the cover before he leveled his zero-star review.
More than the almost-400 that are in there? Jeez, HOW MANY DO WE NEED??
WE’D live with you @SarcasticMommy4, and we’d laugh at ALL YOUR JOKES!
Well, at least he was polite about it.
Look Miles, we know we can’t compare with a partially animated canine, and we’d like to point out that we never claimed to try.
Sorry, dude. We get it.
Jace is right. We are not living up to the promise made by our cover.
Are ya feeling the love?
We could have made it shorter, but there was just too much stuff that made us laugh. Sorry.
The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets: Now with MORE Fiber!
Awww. She DOES care!
Hey! That ALMOST sounds positive. We’ll take it.