Merry Christmas, Parents!
It’s your proud-to-be-selflessly-working-overtime-for-your-kids PTA President Janie McMahon here with a quick note about the Holiday Shoppe gifts you’ll be receiving from your children this Christmas.
Over the summer, the PTA Book Club read Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and enraptured by the Gospel of Decluttering, voted unanimously to run the Holiday Shoppe a bit differently this year.
As always, the children shopped the Holiday Shoppe by class, with help from your dedicated PTA volunteers. A HUGE thank you to everyone who sent in lists of family members the kiddos needed to buy gifts for along with cash/checks made out to Orange Grove Preschool PTA. That really streamlined the process for our volunteers! So much easier than last year when no one could remember if Billy Schmidt was supposed to buy gifts for his egg donor and gestational surrogate. It makes such a difference when we all work together!
A special shout out to Milly Sanders who sent her daughter to shop with rolls of pennies! It is always so helpful to have exact change. The PTA volunteer helping her shop said Ivy had a wonderful time counting the pennies for every item she purchased. Just HOURS of fun!
(BTW, our Holiday Shoppe raised a whopping $173.81 this year, which will go to stocking the teachers break room with Diet Coke. We HEART our Orange Grove teachers!)
Each item your child chose was expertly photographed, and then that photo was beautifully gift-wrapped by one of our PTA volunteers who spent a decade teaching Tiffany & Co. sales associates how to tie the perfect ribbon bow (Thank you, Clarice!) In the spirit of the season, we want you parents to feel all the joy of receiving the gifts your children have so lovingly picked out for you without the joy-sucking burden of having to actually keep them. Once the holidays are over, all gifts will be deposited directly into our local landfill.
Consider this OUR gift to YOU. Because who’re we kidding here? it’s not like we contracted with Hammacher Schlemmer to run the Holiday Shoppe. We bid it out to three vendors and chose the one that specializes in pure schlock. One hundred percent Grade A garbage. How else do you think a kid can buy gifts for Mom, Dad, grandparents, stepparents, assorted siblings, half-siblings and step-siblings for $3.50 and still have cash left over for the toy he just wants to get for himself?
We don’t even need to ask if those giant rhinestone hoop earrings better-suited for a hooker named Star, which somehow get “lost” before Valentine’s Day, bring you joy. So no more filling up junk drawers you’ll only empty into Hefty bags later. No more slipping mini buckets of slime into the trash while the kid’s glued to the Xbox. We know this shit is going to end up in the landfill eventually. We’re just saving you the trip. You’re welcome.
Bringing you maximum joy this holiday season,
Your Tireless PTA President