ORLANDO (Snarkentary Today)—The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) today issued a warning about a new risk associated with playing Pokemon Go!
A new survey done by NIMH suggests that up to 40 percent of parents whose kids play Pokemon GO! daily are experiencing panic attacks brought on by overexposure to Japanese anime. Health experts are dubbing it “anime anxiety.”
These panic attacks are typically triggered by nonstop whining to go hunting for Pokemon as well as incessant chatter about Pokemon character’s health points, epic battles, powers and evolutions. Even “raspberries” have become potential triggers as children use digital raspberries to attract Pokemon for capture. At least one mom reportedly fled Publix after noticing that raspberries were buy-one-get-one. She abandoned a full shopping cart right in the middle of the produce section.
Other news outlets are reporting several cases of near-fatal sticker shock that occurred when parents shopped for Pokemon figures and trading cards, and discovered just how much this crap actually costs. A Virginia mom is reportedly still in critical condition after Googling “super rare” Pokemon cards. Her sister, Shari, said she collapsed in Starbucks after clicking on a Chameleon card priced at $4,000. “She thought the cards would make a fun stocking stuffer. She had no idea,” her sister said. “Please everyone, send prayers.”
Adapted from Science of Parenthood: Thoroughly Unscientific Explanations for Utterly Baffling Parenting Situations (She Writes Press).