Biology Lessons: The Life Cycle of a PTO Mom

Elementary school is about as diverse an ecosystem as you’ll find this side of the Peruvian rainforest. At the tip top of the food chain: the PTO Mom. With her distinct markings — headband, pearls, Talbot’s sweater sets and, among some Northern breeds, the Hermes scarf, knotted just so — the PTO Mom is by far the bitchiest of the parent types you’ll encounter in the elementary school environment. The PTO Mom — sometimes also called the Continue reading

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So, Jen Mann Wrote An Entire Book About All Of The People She’d Dearly Love To Punch In The Throat

Whew! I am so glad I didn't make the list!! I didn't make the list, right?? Jen?? Jen????? Back in 2011, Jen Mann was happily ensconced in the Kansas suburbs, selling real estate from her home office, with her husband and two adorable toddlers beside her. And all was well in the land of wide lawns and good schools. That is, until Jen ventured out with her cherubs and entered the occasionally puzzling and all-too-often irritating world Continue reading

Calculation Disintegration - Calculation Disintegration

The unsettling realization that your child’s math homework is WAY over your head.

9 Ways Moms Are Like Teenage Boys!

They say that when your little boy becomes a teen, he'll morph into a raging ball of hormones, eating everything in sight and tearing, Hulk-like, through all of his clothing. But guess what?!? So will you, mom! If you follow the typical American tradition of having at least one of your kids while you're in your mid-thirties or so, you're right on target to be armpit deep in peri- or full-blown menopause at the same time your child Continue reading

Hookean Halloween Hookean Halloween

How far your patience will be streeeeeetched when you see your tween’s first choice Halloween costume.

Food-to-Floor Formula


The calculation to determine how much food you must prepare based on what will actually end up in your tots mouth … rather than on the floor.

A stress-related condition brought on by repeatedly volunteering for school events micromanaged by overbearing PTA moms.